A letter to a friend who is having a hard time, and how to start it
Written by hand · Sealed with wax · Sent as one link
When a friend is struggling, most people go quiet because every sentence they come up with sounds like a greeting card. A good letter doesn't try to fix anything. It says you've noticed, you're still here, and they don't have to answer.
Free · No sign-up needed · Sent as a link
Ways to begin
“I don't have the right words, and I'd rather send something clumsy than say nothing at all.”
“I've been thinking about you a lot this week. You don't need to write back or explain anything.”
“I'm not going to tell you it'll all work out. I just want you to know I'm on your side, whatever happens.”
What to write
1. Skip the silver linings and the phrases like 'everything happens for a reason' or 'it could be worse'. Name what is hard in plain words instead.
2. Offer one small, specific thing rather than 'let me know if you need anything': a walk on Saturday, dinner left at their door, a call you won't expect them to pick up.
3. Add a memory of them at their best, such as a time they made you laugh or showed up for you. It reminds them who they are beyond this stretch.
Frequently asked questions
Q. What should I not say to a friend going through a hard time?
Avoid advice they didn't ask for, comparisons to your own or other people's troubles, and anything that hurries them to feel better. Say what you see, say you care, and leave room for them to stay quiet.
Q. Can I send it so they read it when they're ready, not when it lands?
Yes. You can set an opening date, and the letter unlocks at 00:00 that day. You send it as one link by any messenger, text or email, and they open it in a browser with no app and no sign-up. Writing, sealing and sending are free.