A letter to my son, for what I can't say out loud
Written by hand · Sealed with wax · Sent as one link
Many parents can talk with their son about the car, the job and the weather, and still go quiet when it comes to pride. A letter lets you say it once, without an audience, and he can reread it whenever he wants. The best ones name one thing you have actually seen him do, and leave the advice out.
Free · No sign-up needed · Sent as a link
Ways to begin
“Son, I'm better at saying this in writing than across the dinner table, so here it is.”
“I was thinking about the day you stuck with something even though it was hard, and I realized I never told you how much that stayed with me.”
“Whatever happens with this next step, I want you to know I'm on your side, and I was before you ever did anything impressive.”
What to write
1. Describe one specific moment you saw him act with courage, kindness or patience. A real scene lands better than the word "proud" repeated.
2. Leave out the "you should" and "when I was your age" lines. If you have advice, turn it into something you learned the hard way, and keep it to a sentence.
3. If it is a hard time, say you are not asking him to fix anything or explain himself. Tell him you are there, and that he can answer whenever he is ready, or not at all.
Frequently asked questions
Q. How do I tell my son I'm proud of him without it sounding like a lecture?
Stick to what you have seen and how it made you feel, and don't attach a "but" or a "now you need to." End with something that asks nothing of him, such as "I love you and I'm glad you're my son." Then stop writing.
Q. Can I make sure he opens it on his birthday or the day of his big step?
Yes. Set an opening date and the letter unlocks at 00:00 that day. You send one link by text, email or any messenger, and he opens it in his browser with no app and no sign-up. Writing, sealing and sending are free.