A letter to your ex, for closure, sent or not
Written by hand · Sealed with wax · Sent as one link
Most closure letters stall on the same two questions: what do I say, and do I actually send it. Write it as if you will send it, so you stay honest, then decide later. A good one names what happened, what you are keeping, and what you are finally putting down.
Free · No sign-up needed · Sent as a link
Ways to begin
“I'm not writing to start anything back up. I'm writing because there are things I never said, and I'd like to put them down somewhere.”
“It has been a while since we talked, and I've gone back and forth about whether to send this. If you're reading it, I decided to.”
“I want to tell you what the last year of us felt like from my side, without arguing about who was right.”
What to write
1. Name one or two specific moments, good or bad, instead of summing up the whole relationship. A real memory does more than 'you hurt me.'
2. Leave out requests and questions that need an answer, like 'Can we talk?' or 'Did you ever love me?' A closure letter works when it asks for nothing back.
3. Finish with what you are taking forward and what you are letting go. Then wait a day or two before deciding whether to send it.
Frequently asked questions
Q. Should I actually send a closure letter to my ex?
You don't have to. Many people write it only for themselves. A fair test is to wait a few days and reread it. If it asks for something, blames, or hopes for a reply, keep it. If it says what you need to say and expects nothing, sending it is your choice.
Q. Can I write and seal the letter without sending it, and does it cost anything?
Yes. Writing, sealing with wax and sending are all free. You can write it, seal it, and simply never send the link. If you do send it, it goes as one link by any messenger, text or email, and you can add a password so only the person you tell can open it.