A break-up letter that is clear and still kind
Written by hand · Sealed with wax · Sent as one link
Most people stall on a break-up letter because they are trying to make it hurt less, and that is how it turns vague. A good one says plainly that the relationship is over, gives one or two honest reasons, and leaves out the blame. The person reading it should never have to wonder what you meant.
Free · No sign-up needed · Sent as a link
Ways to begin
“I've been trying to find the right way to say this, and I think writing it down is the fairest way: I don't want to continue our relationship.”
“This is hard to write, because you've done nothing to deserve being hurt. But I have to be honest that I'm no longer in love with you.”
“I'm ending things between us. I'd like to explain why, so you aren't left guessing.”
What to write
1. State the decision in the first few lines. If the ending is buried in the third paragraph, the reader spends the whole letter hoping.
2. Give one or two honest reasons about yourself, such as 'I want different things' or 'I'm not happy', and skip a list of their flaws.
3. Avoid false hope like 'maybe someday' or 'let's stay close' unless you truly mean it. Say what happens next about returning belongings or contact, and keep it short.
Frequently asked questions
Q. Is it okay to break up in a letter instead of in person?
It depends on the relationship. After a long relationship, an in-person or voice conversation is usually owed first. A letter works well when you need to say it clearly without being interrupted, when distance makes meeting impossible, or as a follow-up after you've talked. Either way, be direct about the decision.
Q. Can I protect the letter with a password so only they can read it?
Yes. You seal the letter with wax and can set an optional password, so only someone you give it to can open it. It goes out as one link through any messenger, text or email, and they open it in a browser with no app and no sign-up. Writing, sealing and sending are free.